It’s complicated…or is it?

It may be something to do with the time of year but as I was vigorously peddling and clocking up kilometres on the exercise bike the other day a thought suddenly occurred to me:

Why is everyone so obsessed with relationship status?

Ever since I created my humble Facebook page and had to decipher whether my own status was indeed complicated I’ve been aware of the great importance society seems to place on whether one is in a relationship or not.

This has become more apparent the older I’ve gotten. Recently I’ve attended a  couple of comedy shows and I’ve noticed a concerning trend. An inordinate amount of comedians open their sets with “I’m (insert age here) and I’m single” usually followed by some self deprecating statement as if the label of ‘single’ is some sort of badge of dishonour.

Whenever I’m catching up with a long lost friend I ultimately have to negotiate the question “So how’s your love life?”. Or upon being introduced to somebody new socially I’m usually hit  with “Are you seeing anybody?” at some point during our inaugural conversation.

The answer to both of these questions is a resounding no and for those of you who know me well, you’ll be aware that I’m perpetually single and absolutely fine being so.

And this brings me to sharing with you the reasoning behind the naming of my website. Although the artistic skills of my friend GiggaBubs (check out her brilliant drawings here and here) would suggest otherwise I didn’t actually kill Prince Charming…I know it’s shocking!

When I made the pivotal decision to start my own blog I did struggle to come up with a name and spent an embarrassingly long time toying with various unoriginal suggestions similar to our favourite noughties TV show ‘Sex and the City’ (my excuse is, I have been heavily influenced by the Cosmopolitan column Sex and the Single Girl). All which didn’t seem to quite epitomise me or my writing, until eventually I sought council and my GBF suggested IKPC.

I became immediately enamoured with IKPC and to me it just summed up something that MOST singletons, who are in their *cough* late *cough* twenties will probably have felt at one point or another, that pesky demon, cynicism.

Now to those of you who have found your Erics, Phillips and Naveens I am in no way trying to diminish what you have but for the rest of us who haven’t been as lucky in love it can seem as if the grim reality we’ve been forced to face is that Prince Charming does not in fact exist, so when I assert that I killed him I am attempting to claim back my singledom.

Why would you need to claim back your singledom? I hear you ask. Well the reason is actually quite simple.

Other people.

They can sometimes make you feel as if being single is an anomaly, and they do so with four very succinct words strung together to form one of the most dreaded questions ever posed to people who happen to be single in their mid to late twenties.

It’s a question that you probably will have been asked by one of those “well meaning” people. A question which infuriates and amuses me no end. I am of course referencing the ridiculous question:

“Why are you single?”

I challenge anyone who has been asked this question to resist slapping the aforementioned “well meaning” individual right in their insipid, ignorant, inane face.

I hear you respond that I shouldn’t care what other people think, and truthfully I don’t but I also don’t care to combat absurd questions that have no possible conclusive answer.

For those of you who’ve gone through a similar experience I hope you’ll be able to identify with what I’m saying.

I am a massive fan of Bridget Jones and her response to a variation of this rather insulting question “Suppose it doesn’t help that underneath our clothes…our entire bodies are covered in scales.” was not only witty but had the desired effect of shutting up the c***ish motherf***er  who dared to ask it. However the fact that questions like these are posed points to a much more sinister issue. It reflects the overwhelming belief that to be single after the grand old age of 21 means that there must be something wrong with you.

Although the world has changed exponentially over the last 100 years it seems our mindsets haven’t altered very much at all

Maybe my disinclination to join the hordes of people partnering up hints that there is something wrong with me, but “Dear well meaning stranger/family member/friend!” I do not need you to make me feel that way, because this causes me to question whether you are indeed well meaning at all?

Being single isn’t something that has unwittingly happened to me despite my wishing and hoping and thinking and praying otherwise. Believe it or not I chose to not hitch my wagon to the first man that decided he liked the look of me because I truly believe it is a rare man that deserves this wondrous prize, and maybe that man isn’t even Prince Charming himself.

I can hear my Mom sighing as I type this but the fact is, not everyone finds their soul mate and gets the chance to be in a long term committed relationship, and while I have made peace with that fact, silly questions reminding me that I haven’t yet discovered “the one” do not do anything but annoy and antagonise me. To be frank I consider myself fortunate if I can find a member of the opposite sex that doesn’t irritate me after 10 minutes of talking to them so I’m not holding out much hope for Prince Charming to come riding in on his noble steed and knocking me off my feet.

Yes, I know what I’m saying isn’t in any way new or inventive but I implore you, next time you get the thought in your head to ask me why I’m single, maybe ask yourself why you think that being independent and able to go where you want to go and doing what you want to do without having to run it by someone else first, for the mere fact they chose to pursue and lock you down, is such a bad thing? And then bite your tongue and buy me a glass of Prosecco instead, if indeed you do mean well!

*Please note the opinions espoused in the above works are purely my own and in no way related to that of ALL singletons, so by all means ask away (as long as the person in question is not me) however please do not be surprised and/or offended if your question is responded to with confusion, aggression or an elaborate well practiced eye roll.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

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